Offended!

 

Yes, this topic has been covered to DEATH in this the "new normal." I am not the first or only to tackle it from this point-of-view, either, but here I go anyway. Here's a newsflash for you --- WE ALL GET OFFENDED BY THINGS!!! Everyone of us has some problem with SOME THING that is said or done at some point. It's okay. It's human. It's healthy, even to BE offended or feel offended at certain things. It spurs us to take actions that often make not only our own experiences, but those of other people genuinely better. 

    Unfortunately, it can also, LIKE ALL THINGS, spur us to take actions that do exactly the opposite, as well. There are dark and light sides to all things, though. All actions have an element of beneficial and/or unbeneficial. There trade-offs to every breath we take, literally.

    The thing that I have to add to this particular topic is that I personally choose to own my own "offense" and not give that power to anyone else. YOU canNOT "offend" me, no matter what you do or say. YOU can only try and hand me offense. I CHOOSE to either take it from you or hand it right back. That's right, no matter what you say or do, whether I am "offended" by it or not is 100% MY CHOICE, every time, without fail. 

    I can laugh it off, shrug it off, grimace it off or tell you to go fuck yourself, and it is still totally in my hands whether I am offended or not. 

     Sometimes, this is taken to mean that it's okay to behave like an abusive asshole. No, it's not okay, but I decide how that is defined for myself, and so do you. If we are in some type of relationship with each other, we will each choose what our boundaries are and choose to accept those of the other person or not. That is freedom. The freedom to choose how to behave goes hand-in-hand with the freedom to choose what behavior from others is acceptable to us as well as which relationships are important to us.

    If a relationship is important, then boundaries will be honored in order to maintain it. If they're not, then, it obviously doesn't mean much to the "offender," does it? 

    Set boundaries and enforce them. No one else has that power.